How To Fire With Compassion
One of the most challenging tasks as a manager is letting an employee go. It's a situation fraught with emotional complexity, nevermind the legal intricacies. I’ve had a few really enlightening conversations recently about this topic and it seemed the perfect time to talk in greater depth about this challenging task.
What Is the Manager’s Responsibility?
Of course, the process starts long before the actual termination conversation. Check out my post and video called The First Steps To Take When An Employee Is Underperforming for tips on what you need to do first. This reflective process outlines the questions you should ask yourself as you begin to coach an employee on poor performance.
Distinguishing Between Performance and Behavior
Understanding the nature of the issue at hand — whether it's a matter of behavior or performance — is vital. Behavioral issues, such as discrimination or harassment, may warrant immediate termination. However, performance issues often call for a more nuanced approach, including performance improvement plans. This distinction is essential in tailoring our approach to ensure it aligns with the company's values and the circumstances at hand.
The Termination Conversation: A Compassionate Approach
When the time comes to have the termination conversation, several key principles can guide us toward compassion:
Make Sure the Right People Are In The Room: Don’t push off this conversation to someone else. If the employee is your direct report, you should be the one to have the conversation. It’s a good practice to have a second person in the room such as HR, but as the manager, the conversation is your responsibility. It comes with the territory as a people leader.
Give the Situation the Reverence It Deserves: If you’re nervous on the day of the conversation, that’s okay. If you can’t sleep the night before, that’s probably a good thing. It means you’re giving the situation the appropriate level of reverence. Never forget that someone losing their job (regardless of the reason) is a life-changing event. It should not be easy for you to tell someone this.
Company Values in Action: Termination is a critical moment to embody your company's values, demonstrating care and respect even in difficult situations. This is your last opportunity to show the employee who is being fired, as well as your remaining employees, how you truly live your values. Trust me, everyone is watching.
Clarity and Kindness: As Brene Brown puts it, "Clear is kind." Being straightforward about the reasons for termination while also acknowledging the difficulty of the situation, can help preserve the employee's dignity. Don’t apologize for the decision — that can leave the person confused and make it sound like the decision isn’t final.
Assuming the Best: Approach the conversation with the expectation of professionalism and understanding from the employee. This mindset can inform the way you communicate, fostering a respectful and dignified interaction.
Post-Termination
The compassion demonstrated during the termination process should extend beyond the conversation itself. Practices such as avoiding the "walk of shame," offering to box up personal belongings and mailing them home, and allowing the employee to say goodbye to colleagues can all contribute to a respectful departure. These gestures matter, reinforcing the notion that while the employment relationship is ending, the individual's worth and dignity remain intact.
Special Considerations for Remote Terminations
In today's increasingly remote work environment, terminating an employee over a video call introduces new challenges. Yet, the principles of compassion remain the same. If your company operates remotely, strive for as much normalcy and respect as possible. Face-to-face conversations should always be prioritized.
Final Thoughts
Terminating an employee is never easy, but it's a task that can be handled with grace, empathy, and respect. Remember, the goal isn't just to terminate an employee, but to do so in a way that upholds their dignity, reflects your company's values, and ensures a fair process for all involved. In the delicate act of firing, let compassion lead the way.
